Slogging through a stretch of writer's block, it seems I'm bogged down in a quagmire of mental molasses, vainly hoping that monkey mind will pull me out.
Like that will ever happen.
Standing in the morass, weighed down by a bagful of ideas, it still seems inanely logical that if I think hard enough, I'll come up with the perfect post and be able to play the Get Out Of Bog Free card. If I could only dream up a profound subject and add just the right amount of righteous self-deprecation and a dash of humour, surely I could transform what would otherwise be drivel into a blogosphere classic.
Makes me think of the guy who said that in retirement he was going to take up chemistry and develop a process for converting expensive single malt whiskey into urine...
As my harshest critic, let me assure you that I have no intention of doing any such thing. At least, not on purpose. I'm going to patiently wait until, like a sculptor gazing at a block of stone, I see my next post beckoning to be liberated.
But while I'm waiting, there is one thing I just wanted to mention.
More often than not (especially with my wife's touch) after exactly the right amount of time, leaf buds appear. By their own nature and in their own time, plants bud, wounds heal, broken hearts mend and writer's block dissolves.
Oh and just one other thing. When I lapse into judgmental mode, I often use the opening bud analogy to excuse all sorts of perceived deficiencies in others - you know, evolutionary felonies like promoting the death penalty and slavery, and all manner of misdemeanours ranging from smoking and needing to display wealth to being lazy in practice and judging others.
It's not that the analogy doesn't have merit - undeniably there are degrees of awareness, maturity and development. The image of a bud emphasizes the potential for growth. It puts an unspoken "yet" at the end of sentences like "S/He doesn't realize the value of self-forgiveness."
My problem is forgetting that I'm looking at a mirror. Your tightly closed bud is my tightly closed bud. After all, we are the same tree, aren't we? We will flower when the time is right.
Break open a cherry tree and there are no flowers,
But the spring breeze brings forth myriad blossoms.
- Ikkyu Sojun
and who was it that said you had writer's block, or who had writer's block in that slippery world of the "self". ah the gnashings of the mind! it makes me think of the quote of "how do I know what I think until I see what I say?" and there we have a great post about that internal dilemma and its process. and of course nothing is ever good enough for the little self but you knew that. and then there is always compost.....
ReplyDeleteI think I recognize that Garry Oak grove. Mt Tolmie??
Hi Carole - good questions! And in the slippery gnashing world, who knows?
DeleteVery close - the oaks were nearby at Mt. Doug.
If this is writers block then I love to see writer's liberation! Well done! And you know, those gremlins that tell you there's no plum blossom in the tree are just blooming idiots!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Lynette! I think Ikkyu would agree with you!
Deleteoh, how I can relate...what is worthy of a blog post and what is just drivel? And is there value in drivel? Is there value in just being quiet when one has nothing (perceived) to say?
ReplyDeleteI love the photos -- the beautiful flowers, are they currently in bloom (as in, is this a current photo?)? Your wife has saved many a life, here!
Hey, Tara - that would be a challenging post - The Hidden Benefits of Drivel! :)
DeleteWe don't quite have spring here yet. The picture was taken last summer. The geraniums, fuchsia and begonias are still under cover and the annuals haven't gone in yet, so the deck looks pretty bare. Here is a photo I took today.
Wonderful writing! Thanks for a great post to start my day :)
ReplyDeleteThanks very much, Chris - I'm enjoying following your travels in northern India over at The Narrow Way!
DeleteDavid ~ I have been browsing through your wonderful heartfelt posts here, and am enjoying your writing, especially the one about your trip to get Dallas and Austin. I'm a sucker for animal stories... And the the posts on the Heart Sutra and Forgiveness spoke to my Heart... It's really all about Love/Compassion isn't it...meeting people where they are. Oh to become this Love wholeheartedly! And I'm also in that space of mind muddle, writing isn't flowing, waiting for that muse to appear and something to emerge. I feel like I may have "jumped the shark"! Christine
ReplyDeleteChristine, thank you for your kind words and for taking the time to meander around my blog. Jumped the shark? With beautiful posts like Opening to the Bare Bones , I'd say you jumped the moon!
DeleteWell sometimes that must does show up and surprises me! :) Thanks for the kind words as well...
DeletePS - I meant "muse" not "must" - those typos ;(
DeleteDavid, how I understand. Great post. Good comments. As someone who didn't experience writer's blog until about 2004, I have since had the opportunity to observe it frequently and at length! Finally I'm beginning to trust the cycles of things, and now see it as a warning that my own well is depleted, and an opportunity to let it fill - of its own accord. 'Spring comes / and the grass grows by itself' (Zenrin)...
DeleteThanks, Roselle. I think that's good advice for a lot of things - giving ourselves time to 'fill up' rather than trying to make things happen by brute force.
DeleteLovely post! I'm desperately trying to develop my "green thumb" for over 30 years now... I'm often surprised at just letting nature have her way! Indeed dormant doesn't mean dead!
ReplyDeleteI think that ideas are that way too. With all the potential of good minds - great thoughts bud-out when they're good and ready. Nice job reminding us of that! ;)
Thanks, Bea! Funny how things turn out better if we work with nature rather than against her :)
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